Homeowners release herd of goats in backyard to fight insidious threat: 'They know what they're there to do'

"Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism dating back to Ancient Greece, and it was exemplified in an Atlanta man's hilarious Axios editorial about his surprisingly effective decision to hire goats as landscapers.

Yes, actual goats.

Thomas Wheatley had a problem, one instantly familiar to many Southerners: kudzu.

Today, kudzu is known by a second, longer name, "the vine that ate the South." Before kudzu became both a cautionary tale and a word interchangeable with "invasive plant species," it was merely a decorative vine.

According to Alabama A&M University, kudzu — which is native to China, Japan, Taiwan, and India — was included in the Japanese Exhibition of the Philadelphia Centennial Exposition in 1876.

Even back then, all the plants were "destroyed by law after the exhibition." However, it resurfaced in New Orleans and subsequently gained popularity as fast-growing ornamental greenery, a trend the South came to deeply regret.

By the 1950s, the tide had turned against kudzu, and Alabama A&M succinctly explained what makes invasive plants such a complex problem.

"It had spread rapidly throughout the South because of the long growing season, warm climate, plentiful rainfall, and lack of disease and insect enemies," the article explained. The South's kudzu problems worsened, and it is now considered a "noxious weed" in 13 states.

"Kudzu's two purposes on this Earth are to overtake the landscape and to cause me extreme psychological anguish," Wheatley's editorial began. "Extraordinary measures were warranted."

Goats weren't his first plan of attack to clear his yard of kudzu; he tried both "heavy equipment" and a mower with "a high-powered blade," neither of which curtailed the tenacious vine. He and his wife paid a deposit to hire the herd of goats in April, and then were notified the goats would be visiting them in August.

What's the hardest thing about taking care of your yard? Mowing the lawn 🏡 Controlling weeds 🌿 Keeping pests at bay 🐿️ I don't have a yard 🤷 Click your choice to see results and speak your mind.

Wheatley explained how it worked: The company supplying the goats erected an electric fence for the duration, leaving water and hay for the hardworking animals. For five days, the herd would unleash their chomping talents on the overgrowth of kudzu in a highly nature-based approach to weed control.

At least one of the goats was a minor celebrity, with a credit on VH1's Love and Hip-Hop and a diva-like attitude to match. Wheatley and his wife wound up befriending the goats, and he said a friend envied the beasts' determination.

"God, I wish I lived my life with that kind of purpose. They KNOW what they're there to do," he recalled their friend saying. As for the goats, they consumed the leaves and left the vines, enabling Wheatley and his spouse to eradicate the kudzu at its source.

"The goats only eat the leaves, which allows us to trace the vines (we hope) so we can find the bulb of the kudzu plant, which we plan to poison with a natural mix of vinegar and cayenne," he wrote.

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