A family's plea for help on Reddit is casting a harsh light on just how devastating romance scams can become, especially when they target older adults who are grieving, isolated, or unwilling to believe they've been deceived.
In this case, the family said their elderly mother was already out seven figures and at risk of losing more.
Here's what to know
A user in Reddit's r/Scams asked for advice after their family said an elderly mother lost a seven-figure sum to an online relationship on Reddit.
"My elderly mother got into a relationship scam where she met someone online after my father died, and he coerced her into sending him 1M$," the poster wrote.
The family said the situation hadn't fully ended. The poster said their mother was "talking to two other guys currently" and still refused to believe those men might also be scammers.
The focus of the thread was less about getting the money back and more about preventing additional losses.
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"How do we get access or be able to monitor her finances against her will," the original poster wondered. "We absolutely do not want control of her accounts or the ability to withdrawal, but we need to know what's going on and out."
One response urged prompt legal advice.
"Consult with an elder law attorney to see what your options are," a commenter advised.
More background
Romance scams can do far more than drain a bank account. They can fracture families, wipe out retirement savings, and leave victims vulnerable to being targeted again. In this case, the poster's account suggested the scam followed a period of grief after the death of the woman's spouse, a moment scammers are known to exploit.
The thread also warned about a second layer of fraud that often follows the first. An AutoModerator message on the post cautioned that scam victims are often approached by people claiming they can recover lost money for a fee.
People who have already been victimized may be targeted again, creating a cycle that can devastate household stability and trust.
What can be done?
Users in the comments pointed to several immediate measures families might weigh while pursuing formal legal help. Common suggestions included contacting an elder law attorney, filing a police report, and reaching out to adult or senior protective services.
Another line of advice focused on the bank itself: report suspected romance fraud to the fraud department.
"Many banks will flag an account for unusual activity on request even without a POA in place, since it protects them too," a commenter wrote.
Commenters also suggested enabling banking-app notifications for withdrawals above a chosen threshold, allowing relatives to spot large transfers.
Some of the advice was blunt.
"Tell her plainly that this will end with her losing everything, becoming homeless, or even being manipulated into harming others," a user advised.
Where can I learn more?
Here is some other coverage of scams and allegations of fraud:
• A Mother's Day jewelry mailer triggered debate over a diamond necklace in one household.
• In Brownville, Maine, a family drew scrutiny after raising donations for deer feeding on YouTube.
• After Hurricane Ian, a displaced family received a letter from a neighbor instead of support.
• In Montana, a volunteer group faced fines after helping the homeless through winter.
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