A retired couple is grappling with leaving the 10-acre home they built 29 years ago for a lake house in northern Michigan.
One complication is that their son wants to buy the family home "for a deal," stirring concerns about whether the arrangement would be fair to their other child.
Here's what to know
According to a Reddit thread on r/RealEstateAdvice, the poster and her husband retired, currently live in a rural home roughly 40 minutes from their first grandchild, and also have a second home on a lake in northern Michigan.
"Have house we built ourselves 29 years ago. Rural area on 10 acres. Nice hunting and privacy," she described their current permanent property.
She expressed concerns that moving into their lake house would lengthen their commute to their son and grandchild from 40 minutes to nearly two and a half hours. In addition to being further from family, she was also concerned about selling the property to their son while they also have a daughter to consider.
She asked, "What have other families done if they have multiple kids and one wants to buy their house for a GREAT deal?"
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More background
Replies generally broke the issue into two questions: whether full-time life at the lake would work for them and whether selling below market to their son could strain family relationships.
One person suggested the couple move to the lakehouse and rent their original property to their son. "Live at the lake for at least a full year before deciding what to do with the house," they recommended. "There is a real possibility that you will find that living at the lake isn't the 'dream' that you thought it would be."
Their argument was that a place used for getaways can feel very different when it becomes the setting for errands, winter weather, and everyday routines. Another commenter said, "Winter is absolutely brutal up here … the 30 minutes to the grocery store that is a beautiful relaxing drive in July is white knuckle torture in February."
One commenter warned they would regret selling their property because of the distance it would create from family. "Your current 40 minute commute is ideal, you can see the baby easily. You can babysit and bond with the baby. But it's infinitely harder to do with a 5 hour round trip," they warned.
What can be done?
Most of the practical advice centered on slowing the process down and finding ways to help the son without simply cutting the home's price.
Instead of an outright discount, several commenters suggested financing ideas. One proposed "no interest owner financing," while another suggested selling "for close to market value" but offering the son "a better than the bank interest rate." That approach would preserve more of the home's value while still helping him buy it.
Some commenters said any reduced price should count against the son's inheritance rather than be treated as a gift. One wrote that if he buys below market, the parents could "discount his portion of the inheritance" in the will. Another suggested keeping the house in the trust for both children and renting it to the son instead of selling right away.
Another commenter wrote, "Nothing tests a family relationship quite like mixing real estate prices with 'but we're family.'"
Where can I learn more?
For more context, these stories look at similar housing decisions, family property questions, and the real estate pressures shaping choices in Michigan.
• In Michigan, lawmakers are targeting corporate homebuyers unless they build, rehab, or offer rent-to-own options.
• In Copenhagen, an empty-nester couple made a life-altering decision to downsize into a floating home.
• Former Illinois residents are warming their forest cabin as they settle into off-grid living.
• In Portland, a daughter helped her father pass up millions tied to their family property.
• Near Waterloo, a family passed up several million dollars and donated rare land for research.
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